D for Damar, D for Dimas

Facts about Dam and Dim.

Damar adalah si early bird, atau early worm, orang yang bangun paling pagi dan langsung nyanyi-nyanyi keliling rumah. Tapi kalo dah capek dan kena bantal langsung pingsan.
Dimas adalah si gudel (anak sapi-dee), karena kalo tidur ngebo. Udah dibolak-balik, digendong keluar kamar, dinyalain kartun kenceng-kenceng, ditimbun bantal, dikitik-kitik, diuyel-uyel, dicubit-cubit...semua
kecuali disiram air, ngga bakal bangun. Pantesan pipi Dimas ngga kempes-kempes. Rekor bangun pagi jam 11 siang.

Damar suka nyanyi dan joged. Panggilannya di sekolah? Jacko. Sekarang lagi suka nyanyi jingle bells dan paling suka berbahasa indonesia yang baik dan benar. "Mamah, aku sangat kecewa." atau "Aku mau mengambil spidol untuk menggambar tetapi spidolnya terlalu tinggi aku tak bisa menggambilnya."

Dimas suka maen sepak bola dan lompat timbun. Lompat timbun itu lompat dari kasur atas ke kasur bawah, sebelum lompat ngambil ancang-ancang sambil mbaca mantra, "lima tujuh lima tujuh...", maksudnya mau ngitung satu dua tiga tapi versi dimas. Last step, lompat jauh sambil teriak, "TIMBUUUNNN!!!" Malanglah orang yang kebetulan lagi di kasur bawah. Ketimbun 14 kg pipi dan lemak.
Si Park Dimas Sung ini kalo maen bola ancang-ancang larinya bisa sampe 50 meter. Kalo lari kayak ada per di kaki.

Damar lagi ribut minta pohon natal. Karena ngga dikasih ganti pengen menghias pohon cemara kecil di halaman depan rumah.
Dimas lagi heboh minta ulang taun, soalnya dijanjiiin baru dibeliin maenan lagi kalo ulang taun. Next month.

Damar rambutnya lurus jegrak. Kalo disuruh potong rambut mirip disuruh nyemplung sumur.
Dimas kriwil-kriwil. Kalo lagi keringatan kepalanya jadi mirip rambutan.

Damar bisa diminta matiin tipi, dengan catatan sudah dibilangin sebelumnya, "setengah jam lagi matiin ya" atau "habis little einstein matiin ya".
Dimas harus pake sesi nangis, rebutan remote, kejar-kejaran, dan terakhir saking malesnya pindah dia ngompol di kasur di depan tipi. Padahal aku dah ngga inget kapan dia ngompol di kasur. Wew. Red Alert.

Damar lagi seneng bikin kue, nyetak dan ngasih hiasan. Yang paling nyenengin, dia suka makannya juga.
Dimas...yaahh, masih tahap ngremes-remes adonan sambil ditambahin eces disana-sini.

Damar suka susu strawberry. Dimas susu coklat.
Damar suka es krim conetto mini rasa blueberry. Dimas suka rasa strawberry. Mamahnya suka dua-duanya.

They're both the same, but they're not.
They're both D, but as different as A and Z.
Their hugs are the best cure for a weary heart and a wandering mind.
They keep me connected and disconnected.
They're my Planetaia, my wandering stars.
They teach new things and new point of views every single day.
They remind me of the who,what,where,when,why and how.

The best of all, their face never fail to send a sign,
"everything's gonna be okay, mommie, it always is."

Spirit of Christmas

December this year reminds me of two sad things.
December 26th 2004, The Sumatra tsunami.
December 27th 2008, Gaza bombing.
*I'll leave century, kpk and lunmay thingies out of this note, sorry.

This is how christmas was in Gaza before the bombing, December 25th 2008 :

Christmas in Gaza: No Trees, No Celebrations

For the first time, Hazem Al-Jilda, a Christian from Gaza, and his family could not light the Christmas tree at their home because of the electricity black-out caused by the lack of fuel, due to the Israeli siege on Gaza.

'We only have electricity for six hours a day because Israel is not letting any fuel supplies into Gaza's only electric power plant,' said Al-Jilda (34). 'We missed the happiness of lightening the Christmas tree this year.'

'I have never seen such a sad Christmas,' he said. 'This year, there are almost no traditional Christmas celebrations in Gaza because of the siege and Israel's refusal to give Gaza's Christians permits to visit Bethlehem.

About 4,000 Christians live in the besieged Gaza Strip. Most of them belong to the Greek Orthodox Church, while the rest follow the Latin Church Christmas calendar, which falls on December 25.

Yea, as a matter o' facts, there are christians in Gaza. And they're suffer the same, since they too are Palestinians.

Anyway, we all know the story of Gaza after that christmas day.

This year, a true spirit of christmas

Christmas In Gaza by Fr John Dear, National Catholic Reporter

Into this world, this demented inn, in which there is absolutely no room for him at all, Christ has come uninvited. But because he cannot be at home in it, because he is out of place in it, and yet he must be in it, his place is with those others for whom there is no room. His place is with those who do not belong, who are rejected by power, because they are regarded as weak, those who are discredited, who are denied the status of persons, tortured, exterminated. With those for whom there is no room, Christ is present. -- Thomas Merton

In the true spirit of Christmas, on Christmas day I'll leave for Gaza to join some 1,300 people from 40 nations -- as well as an expected 50,000 Palestinians -- and together undertake a nonviolent march to the Erez northern border crossing leading into Israel. We'll arrive on the first anniversary of the diabolical Israeli bombing attack in which 1,400 Palestinians perished, the vast majority civilians.

The journey represents my attempt to break through the commercialism and sentimentality of Christmas. By this journey I’m trying, in a modest way, to enter the Gospel story itself, mindful that Christmas celebrates the God of peace having come to the poor, having emerged from among the poor. God emerged from among the marginalized, the homeless, the refugees, the outcast, the occupied, the targeted peoples of the world. I journey in the Christmas hope that "peace on earth" comes first of all in places like Gaza.

So, while most of us have already forgotten, some people remind us what humanity is all about. It's borderless.

There are too many people, and too few human beings. ~Robert Zend

Merry christmas, my friends.
May peace and justice prevail on earth.

Quote of the day : " When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or at least return it equally…Surely, Allah takes account of all things.” (An-Nisa’ 4: 86)

Happy Anti Corruption Day

Kemarin aku menjemput Damar ke sekolah. Akhir minggu nanti akan ada pentas di mal (-.-'), memperingati (so-called) hari ibu. Selain nyanyi si Jegrak juga bakal baca puisi. Dan tidak ada yang lebih menghibur selain anak-anak umur 2-5 taun yang berlatih untuk pentas.

Ketika akan pulang dan membuka pintu mobil, seorang ibu tua berbaju lusuh dan menggotong karung menyapa, "Dek, mau mangga?". Jarang-jarang dipanggil dek..
Akhirnya aku dan Damar jongkok di pinggir jalan ngobrol sama ibu itu.
Rumahnya jauh. Satu plastik berisi 5 butir mangga dijual 12 ribuan. Sekarung mangga tadi dibeli dengan harga 85 ribu. Sekarung berisi belasan plastik.
Akhirnya kubeli mangganya seharga sebuah majalah national geographic traveller terbaru yang memuat 55 gunung terindah di indonesia.

Mahal? Tidak kalo mengingat si ibu tua ini naik-turun bukit-bukit di Balikpapan di bawah terik matahari Desember sambil menggotong karungnya.

Sebelum pulang aku dan Damar ke Hero dulu, mau beli jamur. We're addicted to mushroom lately. Seplastik seharga 15 ribu. Di persimpangan menuju Balikpapan Baru seorang anak berkulit hitan legam menawarkan korannya, "Cuma 2000, buk!". Di pinggir jalan ada anak lain yang lebih kecil, duduk sambil menyipitkan matanya karena terik.

Aku menyesal tidak membawa susu kotak di tasku.

I was just like any other hypocrit who felt sorry for them but didn't do a think to make things better.
That old woman, those street children, would they still be doing what they're doing if we're not one of the most corrupt country in the world?

I guess there's only one thing money won't buy, and that's poverty.

“Heaven is above all yet; there sits a judge.That no king can corrupt.”

Happy Anti Corruption Day.

Question of The Day

Pernahkan kamu membaca quote ini,

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything.

Penulisnya adalah Giacomo Leopardi, seorang penyair dan filsuf Italia yang hidup pada tahun 1798-1837.

Ingatkah kita masa-masa kecil ketika hari dimulai dengan pertanyaan dan diakhiri dengan pertanyaan? Aku ingat pernah berpikir bahwa di salah satu bintang di atas sana ada seorang anak perempuan kecil yang sedang menatap ke bumi. Aku ngga ingat apakah pernah benar-benar bertanya pada orang lain.

Atau ketika saat ini kita cukup diberkahi untuk memiliki manusia-manusia kecil dengan tenaga kryptonit tak kenal lelah yang tak berhenti bergerak dan berbunyi, sempatkah kita berhenti sejenak merenungkan pertanyaan mereka?

"Mah, kenapa laba-labanya terbang?" ketika melihat laba-laba turun naik di dekat kasur mereka, tanpa terlihat benangnya.

"Kenapa kita ngga punya christmas tree?" sewaktu melihat pohon natal plastik di mal.

"Kenapa sampah dapur dikubur?" saat melihat rutinitas menggali-gali mamahnya.

Jadi teringat suatu siang waktu aku dan anak-anak nonton KBS, channel Korea, tentang multikultural family. Si istri berasal dari Bali dan tinggal di Korea Selatan mengikuti suaminya yang asli sana. Suatu saat berliburlah mereka ke Bali. Waktu ada adegan keluarga itu mengejar-ngejar babi untuk di-babi guling, anak-anak takjub. "Kasian!", kata Dimas waktu si babi diiket di tongkat.
Kemudian sampai ke adegan ketika si babi sudah matang kecoklatan dan mulai diiris-iris untuk dimakan bersama.
Tiba-tiba Dimas bilang, "Mamah, mau makan ituuu!!!", sambil nunjuk ke tipi.

That was an awesome moment.

"Kenapa ngga boleh?"

Ketika kita menghadapi pertanyaan-pertanyaan ajaib seperti itu, sebagai orangtua, dan manusia, kita diajak membuka kembali cakrawala pikiran kita. Dan keyakinan kita. Kita kembali dipertemukan dengan keraguan-keraguan yang dulu sebagai seorang anak kecil pernah kita rasakan.

Jika beruntung, kita akan bertemu dengan pertanyaan yang bahkan kita sendiripun masih mencari jawabannya. Bukan cuma pertanyaan kenapa adek bayi ada atau gimana tivi ada gambarnya..those are some pretty challenging questions too >.<

Tapi seperti ketika Sam, 11 tahun, di Ways to Live Forever (versi Indonesianya berjudul Setelah Aku Pergi, terbitan Gramedia) mempertanyakan Pertanyaan-Pertanyaan Tak Terjawab, The Questions That Nobody Answer, No. 6. "Kenapa sih orang mesti mati?"

Why Do We Have To Die Anyway?

Atau pertanyaan nomor dua, yang dicoba dijawab oleh Sam dan temannya Felix.

Questions Nobody Answers No.2, Why does God make kids get ill?
[proposed solutions]
1.He doesn’t exist. (Felix)
2.God is really evil. (Felix)
3.God is like a big doctor. It doesn’t matter to God if you die, because you just go to heaven, which is where He lives anyway.(Sam, to which Felix responds, “That is the biggest load of crap I ever heard. God gives you cancer to teach you how good riding a bike is?)
4.There is no reason. (Felix)
5.There is a reason, but we’re too stupid to understand it. (Sam)
6.We did something awful in the past life and this is punishment. (Felix, who insisted it be included as not to discriminate against Buddhists)
7.We’re perfect already. Being ill is like a present. Like...like a Get-Into-Heaven-Free Card. (Sam)

At the end of the day, nenek Sam menjelaskan bahwa kematian adalah seperti berubahnya ulat menjadi kupu-kupu. Bagaimana ulat merasa takut menjadi kepompong yang tertidur dan sendiri.

Menurut Sam,

What she means is, it’s the next stage in a life cycle. Like turning into Spider-Man was the next stage in Peter Parker’s life cycle. So you shouldn’t be frightened, you should be excited. But I’m not frightened anyway. It’s only going back to wherever you were before you were born and no one is frightened of before they were born.

All those quoestions.

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan 'aneh' yang ketika kita beranjak dewasa mungkin masih akan muncul di saat-saat yang sepi. Ketika menatap langit-langit kamar menjelang terpejam. Ketika menengadah ke bintang di langit kelam. Ketika terdiam dan menghela nafas panjang.

I really didn't mean to make some rhyme here. Bad habit -.-'

Tidak semua orang cukup beruntung untuk mempunyai tempat bertanya. Terutama pertanyaan-pertanyaan ajaib yang mengerutkan kening 99.99% orang yang mendengarnya. Dan kemudian menyarankanmu ke ustad atau ke psikiater dengan wajah khawatir.

We were often told not to ask anyway, when we were younger.

Jadi,
ketika manusia-manusia kecil itu bertanya, dengarkan dengan sepenuh hati. Semoga mereka mengantarmu ke jawaban dari keraguanmu sendiri.

"Kenapa kamu menikah?"
"Kenapa kamu punya anak?"
"Kenapa kamu beribadah atau tidak beribadah?"
"Kenapa kamu menangis atau tertawa?"
"Kenapa kamu mencintai atau membenci?"

"Untuk apa kamu hidup?"

Maybe I will make my own questions nobody answer one of these days.

Where am I? Who am I?
How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director?
I want to see him

~ Soren Kierkegaard

Jewish Friends of Mine

My first eye opener was Yehuda Shaul with his breaking the silence. I was so amazed by him.
I wrote about it on my facebook, wondering what the comments would be. That was before the Gaza. Turned out I was not the only one. Some of us did think beyond that old tired line "jews are our enemy".

And I wrote more and more about 'friendly jews'. I found more and more people, regardless their religion, were true friends of Palestine. More than us, muslim people.

So I was so glad to read this article, on Jakarta Post.

We should learn more about each other. And put aside some old dogma and prejudice. Cause deep down inside, we are all the same.

Little Things, Always the Little Things.

Mark Twain said "Remember the poor, it costs nothing".

Apa sih, definisi "poor"? Miskin?
Hidup dibawah 1 $? Di bawah 2 $?
Tidak punya rumah? Tidak punya pekerjaan?
Hopeless? Homeless?

Jangan salah.
Ada yang merasa 'miskin' itu karena tidak punya mobil mewah.
Ada yang merasa 'miskin' ketika ngga bisa beli blackberry terbaru.
Ada yang merasa miskin karena ngga beli baju bermerek di mal.
Ada yang merasa miskin karena ngga dapet keistimewaan dan kemudahan yang dimiliki para pejabat dan orang 'hebat'.

Miskin karena selalu merasa kekurangan.

Tapi lupakanlah miskin yang itu, balik ke miskin yang ada di berita akhir-akhir ini.

Seorang nenek dipenjara karena 'memungut' 3 biji buah kakao.
Seorang kakek dipukul dan diseret karena menentang penggusuran.
Seorang PSK dibiarkan tenggelam di kali ketika sedang dikejar-kejar.
Aku yakin kalo digoogle maka akan panjang sekali daftarnya...

Dan tulisan kali ini bukanlah ingin membahas dari sudut hukumnya bla bla bla, karena sudah mahfum sekali bahwa hukum itu bukanlah keadilan. Law is not justice. It never is.
Tapi ingin bertanya pada sendiri, have I remembered enough.
Lebih lagi, have I done enough.

Seorang sahabat berkata,
"Dee, lahir-belajar jalan ngomong-tk-sd-smp-sma-kuliah-kerja-nikah-punya anak-memastikan anak mengikuti hal2 tersebut-mati adalah, devil cycle. I dont know where's thing 'so-called' life on that cycle"

Aku bilang, dia harus mengalami semuanya dulu baru bisa tau.

Dan dijawab,
"No i dont have to. Just by thinking about what our country had become. Its a sad fact that there's actually only few people give it a damn, because they been trapped on their own tired old line. There's no time to think about others. Let alone the nation. Busy to save their own asses, and they dont even realize that's what's happened. Its a false joy"

There. My life is a false joy.
And we're just some kinda robot.
How nice.
Just perfect for this gloomy cloudy november days.

Tapi tentu saja, ini harusnya suatu kritik membangun.
I'm still searching the constructive part.

Kritik membangunnya mungkin adalah bagaimana kita bertanya pada diri sendiri, "Apa yang salah dari komunitas kita? masyarakat kita? negara kita? Is it the custom? The education system? What?"
Jika belum terjawab, masih ada pertanyaan selanjutnya yang menunggu, "Apa solusinya?"

Aku selalu berpikir, sesuatu dimulai dari hal terkecil. Dari diri sendiri. Satu demi satu.
Klise.
Tapi sesuatu itu klise mungkin karena itu memang benar.
And yea, I haven't done enough. I'm crawling.

So, when my simple so-called life, with my simple kinda family, seems not enough..well, I cannot blame my idealistic sarcastic friend. We can always agree to disagree, right?
Just don't expect me to stop believing that maybe we, stupid silly nerdy simple people, can actually make a difference. By doing little things.

2 simple things to remember and share with dynamic duo (again):
1. Simpen krincing kita
2. Pisahin dan kurangi sampah dengan ngubur sampah dapur.

Last but never least...listen to your children. Respect them. So they'll listen and respect others.
Do you realize that your children spend less than 20 years with us, then go on to spend another 60 years, 70 years, 80 or maybe even more on this planet. What goes on in our home with them today seems so small it hardly even matters in the grand scheme of things. Yet what we do in our home can affect society for many years to come.

Itu salah satu solusiku, mate, ketika kamu nanya apa nanti Damar Dimas sempet mikirin negaranya.

Bertanya pada Damar the jegrag and Dimas the jambul.
Ketika mereka pengen roti tawar instead of nasi buat makan siang, aku bukan bilang, "Harus makan nasi! Mamah udah capek-capek masak! Arrgghh! Grrrr! Aum!" and so on.
Tapi aku bertanya, "kenapa ngga mau makan nasi?" dan dijawab Damar, "nanti mah, abis makan roti."

Pertanyaan. Jawaban.
Pilihan. Konsekuensi.

Semoga dengan memberikan mereka pertanyaan dan pilihan, someday when they're older, mereka bisa menentukan pilihan yang terbaik bukan cuman untuk diri mereka sendiri tapi juga lingkungan di sekitar mereka. Semoga mereka, entah itu mengikuti 'that tired old line' atau sebaliknya menjadi biksu selibat yang mengabdikan diri untuk menyelamatkan dunia, menjadi manusia yang bermanfaat.

This stupid simple me is still learning, for God sake!


(www.art.com)

The Beating of A Single Heart

I felt quite aweful aweful this morning.
A perfect combination of fatigue, lack of sleep and lack of gratitude.
Then I watched this video.

From commondreams



The Beating of A Single Heart
by Jonathan Mann

You hear it everyday
sometimes in the subtlest ways
sometimes it's in your face
But nonetheless it's there
"Go back to where you came from"
"They're taking all our jobs"
"They shoul learn to speak English"
"They are lazy, foreign slobs"

It is fear
that can sonsume you
Fear
will make you close your eyes.
But it is love
that can bloom you
let you open up to the sun and realize

We're all the same
underneath our skin
same beating hearts
same blood within

And in the future
as we embrace
We'll feel the beating of a single heart
of the human race.

We're told it's not enough
to consume more than our weight in stuff
when things are getting rough
we oughta buy more

Make it! Pack it! Ship it!
Buy it! Use it! Toss it!

Afterall, isn't that what we're made for?
With no regard
for the impact
our tireless consumption has

from all the beef
to the big smoke stacks
We're messing up the only home we have

Put down your wallet
and go outside
March around
get wide eyed

Cause in the future
We'll take care of this place
And the beating of a single heart
of the human race.

We've heard it all before
there has always been war
From the chimpanzee's roar
and the rocks he hurled

But we must evolve
to find another way to solve
all the disagreements in this world
Well it won't be simple
Nothing ever is
But in that complexity is grace.

Cause in the future
bound by respect
We'll feel the beating heart of a human race.

Thanks Jonathan Mann! It really brightened up my day.

Buaya dan Komodo

Siapa lagi yang bisa dipercaya?
My poor country...

The latest update of criminalization of KPK, the Jakarta Pos

The police and those devil's advocates, those corruptors...I cannot hate those people more.

Negeri Para Bedebah
Ada satu negeri yang dihuni para bedebah
by Adhie Massardi

Lautnya pernah dibelah tongkat Musa
Nuh meninggalkan daratannya karena direndam bah
Dari langit burung-burung kondor menjatuhkan bebatuan menyala-nyala
Tahukah kamu ciri-ciri negara para bedebah?
Itulah negeri yang para pemimpinnya hidup mewah
Tapi rakyatnya makan dan mengais sampah
Atau menjadi kuli di negeri orang
Yang upahnya serapah dan bogem mentah
Di negeri para bedebah
Orang baik dan bersih dianggap salah
Dipenjarakan hanya karena sering ketemu wartawan
Menipu rakyat dengan pemilu menjadi lumrah
Karena hanya penguasa yang boleh marah
Sedangkan rakyatnya hanya bisa pasrah
Maka bila negerimu dikuasai para bedebah
Jangan tergesa-gesa mengadu kepada Allah
Karena Tuhan tak akan mengubah apa suatu kaum
Kecuali kaum itu sendiri mengubahnya
Maka bila melihat negeri dikuasai para bedebah
Usirlah mereka dengan revolusi
Bila tak mampu dengan revolusi, dengan demonstrasi
Bila tak mampu dengan demonstrasi, dengan diskusi
Tapi itulah selemah-lemahnya iman perjuangan.

I've been away from internet for quite some time. And it's been quite uncomfortable here since we're lack of water and electricity. But hey, who am I to complain?? ^^
Me and my family, we're still consider ourselves as the luckiest person on earth no matter what. We have a place to stay, jobs to be done, food on the table, back and front yard to burry our kitchen scrap, books to read, people to love and plenty of sunshine and breezy wind.

Little small things that make our world goes round.

A little upset for the update of Ezra Nawi in Tikun Olam...Bless you, Ezra...
But this one is a good news, from mondoweiss.

When humanity goes beyond religions and politics.

We Want Peace

Kravitz recorded the anti-war song "We Want Peace" as the US began invading Iraq. The song was performed with musicians from Iraq (Kadim Al Sahir), Palestine (Simon Shaheen), and Lebanon (Jamey Hadded).

Here is once again in our face
Why haven't we learn from our past
We're at the crossroads of our human race
Why are we kicking our own ass