January 31st (for my father)

Today is my father's birthday.

I still remember his face.
I still remember his voice.

I still remember how he explained the news in the newspapers when i was 6, since i read all kind of things back then.
I still remember how he told me that i could be anyone i wanted to be.
I still remember how he made a swing and a hammock for us in our backyard.
I still remember playing in the rain with him and my sisters.
I still remember how he used to stay behind his closed working room door for hours.

I still remember how he asked me to go study to other city when I was 12, to pursuit a better education.
I still remember how I missed my family a lot.
I still remember how lonely it was.

I still remember how I've became more independent year after year.
I still remember how i got angry when he didn't like my hiking and travelling hobby.
I still remember how unreal it felt when he was sick again.
I still remember I was standing in front of the phone, miles away from home, didn't know what to tell him. Didn't have a clue what to say to him.

I still remember how proud his face was, in my graduation. Just few months before that day.
That day, on October 2003, I still remember that I didn't have a chance to said thank you or i'm sorry.

Today would have been his 63rd birthday.

I wish he were here so i could give him a big hug.
i wish he were here to watch Damar and Dimas.

"Dear Lord, forgive me my sins, and the sins of my parents, have mercy on them both as they have looked after me when I was little" (A muslim prayer for her parents)

I miss you, Pah.

To everyone who read this :
Take your time to call your parents. Say hi. Say how much you love them.
Or just call them to hear their voices...